Marriage versus Divorce

[Black faced guy]

Something to ponder.

Why do people engage family, relatives and friends to witness their start of suffering with a celebration?
And why they decided to end it, they only engage a lawyer quietly?
Isnt that weird?

[klumpkeTT]

got people when you get married - then the come up to you "congratulations for getting married"
When divorce, you want people to go "congratulations for getting divorced???"

[Silver Bullet]

Get married got 'ang pow' to collect, the more ppl know, the more u collect mah..

If u divorce, u still wana take 'ang pow'??..For all u know, they'l claim back their 'blessing' man..of course quietly better lar..Wahahaha..*rofl*..

Kidding..kidding..

[Barbarian]

quite a number of CCM guys divorced already wan wor..... so sad.....

[Kelly]

got people when you get married - then the come up to you "congratulations for getting married"
When divorce, you want people to go "congratulations for getting divorced???"

TT, why not? If you very unhappy and finally gotten your 'out' I will congratulate you lor and throw you a big big party with many sexy chio babes.

[Cobra]

If you rich and famous ... like Sir Paul McCartney ... the whole world attends your divorce. 
If you have kaypo relatives ... they suddenly want to visit you ... to give you "advice" .

But seriously ... why this thought ? Something troubling you ? 

[seanlce]

kelly, u might as well start intro-ing to everyone now. so they get to pick b4 the get married. though most pple here are married liao! haha

[klumpkeTT]

TT, why not? If you very unhappy and finally gotten your 'out' I will congratulate you lor and throw you a big big party with many sexy chio babes.

no need to wait lah - can send those chio babes over now? can?? please? please?
Wait wait - make sure bret not around first - sekali he EAT them all... LOL

[meow (=^^=)]

the anymohs are already doing it....throw a party when they are divorced...to celebrite they are free again....haha...

[sharmz]

I think because in nearly all of our cultures around the world, historically there has always been a taboo and "unspoken distaste" for those who divorce. Primarily because when you are married you are choosing your partner for life. When a couple divorced, it may look to family and community that they (couple) just gave up or did not make good/mean the commitment they had promised.

I think obviously we are evolving in our values, but there is still this taboo even today. The difference though is since femininst movements have occured during this century, womens rights have become front bench discussion at political and social tables. It you add to that the acknowledgement and publicity of culturally acceptable, re-occuring or out-of-control domestic violence issues in the modern world, then divorce starts to have a meaningful place in society.

A divorce is still frowned upon, but currently today you will find many more are understanding of why divorces happen and why things don't work out. As long as parents continue to take care of any children then this is what's most important. However, I put to you that even today, divorce or even abondoning commitment can be seen as a selfish act, some families and communities can even be offended by your choice to divorce or end the relationship.

There is an article in the papers only yesterday:
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/honour-killing-victims-failed-plea/2008/04/03/1206851105848.html

In this article, it explains that a girl who was partnered by her family with a man at the age of 17, it did not work, i think it may have even been an abusive marraige, who knows. Anycase, she started a relationship with another man who she fell in love with and its quite obvious she was set to start a new life of her own in happiness.

Her family dissapproved. She went to the police, complained several times she feared for her life as her family were crazy and didnt approve. They shrugged it off.

She ended up being raped and beated in their family home for almost 3 hours. The dad and the uncle were involved.
They then buried her under the house - in a suitcase.

This is in London, UK.

It just shows you, that even though we are in 2008, we are almost as backward as we were in 1688 at times.
Its very sad : (

[Black faced guy]

This is how the society and the environment influence and shapes one's beliefs and values.
People do what was deemed as the right thing and avoid what is deemed as the wrong ones.

But if we are not causing any damage or harm to anything or anyone, I think its only best to follows what one strongly feels despite it is going against the flow of the majority. You may not know where it will bring you but at least you know you are happy going in that direction.

[klumpkeTT]

There is an article in the papers only yesterday:
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/honour-killing-victims-failed-plea/2008/04/03/1206851105848.html

In this article, it explains that a girl who was partnered by her family with a man at the age of 17, it did not work, i think it may have even been an abusive marraige, who knows. Anycase, she started a relationship with another man who she fell in love with and its quite obvious she was set to start a new life of her own in happiness.

Her family dissapproved. She went to the police, complained several times she feared for her life as her family were crazy and didnt approve. They shrugged it off.

She ended up being raped and beated in their family home for almost 3 hours. The dad and the uncle were involved.
They then buried her under the house - in a suitcase.

This is in London, UK.

It just shows you, that even though we are in 2008, we are almost as backward as we were in 1688 at times.
Its very sad : (

Unfortunately this still happens. I've heard plenty of stories esp among the Indian community in UK when i was there. It's SO common.

[zuoom]

FIGHT FOR ASSETS AFTER DIVORCE
House-hubby wants money, not kids
 
SHE earned $2.5 million in eight years while her husband could barely hold down a job.

She was so flush with cash that when her company posted her to Hong Kong in 2004, she handed her husband $700,000 for housekeeping allowance.

But her husband used the money to buy an apartment in Taiwan for his extra-marital trysts with a Taiwanese woman.
 
A bitter divorce followed, with the husband seeking a bigger share of his wife's assets.

The Singapore couple parted ways after 22 years of marriage.

While the husband, 45, did not seek custody of their three children, he wanted at least half their matrimonial properties.

The couple's assets include a private property and a condominium unit worth about $2m and a Volvo S80.

The man is a cafe employee while the wife, 44, owns a consumer research company, having worked 20 years in that line.

Their eldest child, 20, will go to university next year.

At the time she was posted to Hong Kong in 2004, the wife's monthly salary was $22,000.

After she set up her own firm in September 2005, she took a substantial pay cut and now earns $8,000 a month.

The judgment did not say why the wife chose to leave her job.

Even before her career peaked, she had saved a substantial amount of money, including the $700,000 which came from liquidating some unit trust investments. Her husband, on the other hand, was a full-time homemaker who tended to their three children.

He had dabbled in ventures like opening a restaurant and a ladies' fashion boutique but both were short-lived.

By the time the wife went to Hong Kong, the couple had grown apart.

A recent Family Court judgment showed the husband had accused his wife of being unfaithful while she discovered his liaison in 2005.

The husband initiated the divorce but the reasons for the split were not stated in the judgment.

Adding fuel to fire was the fact that the Taiwan apartment was bought with a credit loan facility that the husband obtained with the $700,000 he got from his wife.

His ex-wife also accused him of moving more than $120,000 from their joint account into his sole accounts.

Though he had stayed at home as a house-husband, he is now barely on talking terms with his children.

Counsellors who interviewed the children reported that their father did not do more than household chores and take them to school.

He never attended parent-teacher meetings.

Although the wife was overseas for four years, she would call the children several times a day. Even the children's private tutors were hired by their mother.

The husband, who claimed that their matrimonial home was bought with a $155,000 loan from his mother, wanted a 50 per cent share of the property.

The wife, however, felt the whole property should go to her. She also wanted a monthly maintenance of $1,500 for their children.

She said she had contributed more than $250,000 from her CPF to the house while her husband had contributed only about $65,000.

The wife added that she had solely financed the housing loan and the monthly payment averaged about $6,400.

There was also a condominium unit that they bought in 1993 as an investment, and the family car. The apartment had been rented out, with the lease expiring in November.

The wife said the mortgage was financed from her own money and the rental proceeds.

No maintenance

The husband did not want to pay maintenance for the children, saying he earned only $2,850 a month and was in poor health because of diabetes.

But the wife pointed out that he could still afford to spend $1,500 a month on maintaining their car.

District Judge May Loh ruled that the wife deserved 70 per cent of the properties as it was her success that enabled the couple to buy them.

She wrote in her judgment: 'I find it hard to accept that he had 'given up' a career to be a homemaker.

'The truth was more likely that the husband had difficulty holding down a job and found it convenient to rely on the wife's stronger earning capacity to maintain himself and the household.'

Among other things, the judge ordered him to pay 30 per cent of his children's living expenses, which amount to $4,500 a month.

If he can't pay up, the amount will be deducted from the proceeds of their matrimonial properties.
 
 http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,178309,00.html?

via : http://forums.vr-zone.com/showthread.php?t=333016

[zuoom]

[youtube]4gjQRuRRd6I[/youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gjQRuRRd6I&feature=player_embedded
http://forums.vr-zone.com/chit-chatting/732202-yt-japans-divorce-ceremony-gaining-more-popularity.html

like that also can?

[zuoom]

[tags] trysts divorce maintenance matrimonial